


rubik's cube

by lionheart8



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Brotherly Steve Harrington & Dustin Henderson, Gen, Good Babysitter Steve Harrington, Post Season 3, and sometimes others helping steve, steve having moments with everyone, steve helping everyone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-19
Updated: 2019-07-19
Packaged: 2020-07-08 19:01:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19874515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lionheart8/pseuds/lionheart8
Summary: this is my rubik’s cube, I know I will figure it outorFollowing the events of season 3 Steve is there to pick the pieces of the kids, Robin and even Nancy and Jonathan. This goes through the moments Steve shared with all these people where he helped them or sometimes reconnected with them.





	rubik's cube

**Author's Note:**

> Hiii!
> 
> I have been working on this for so long and the fic turned out to be my longest one shot. 
> 
> I am so so proud of myself for it.
> 
> I just wanted to explore all the relationships Steve has with basically everyone and this was born. 
> 
> I picked up different moments I imagined happening through a six month period post s3 where Steve has a moment with others characters. 
> 
> It also takes a journey through Steve's mind and how he views everyone.
> 
> Hope you'll like it!!!

_the world is too heavy, to big for my shoulders come take this weight of me now_

Steve was sitting at the back of an ambulance with a blanket thrown over him. His head was pounding and his ears were ringing. He started to scan around and check everybody’s names of his mental list as he saw their faces. He tried not to think about Hopper. He failed miserably but he tried not to think about the man who took care of everybody.

That was when he realized the two people missing there. He got up in a rush dropping the blanket off from his shoulders as he cursed under his breath. He was hearing the kids and other people calling out to him but he ignored them. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” he thought. 

Suddenly Robin appeared next to him still holding onto her blanket. 

“Where the hell do you think you are going dingus?” she said in a little terrified and a lot exhausted voice.

He gulped down while he sweared at himself in his mind. He was furious at his own stupidity and forgetfulness. 

“Dustin and Erica.” Steve said firmly with a shaky voice.

And he ran up to the only car they had standing. It wasn’t “Toddfather” but Steve couldn’t care less. In the midst of all the chaos and his adrenaline wearing off kicking in all the pain he had forgotten about Dustin and Erica being left at the hill. He had no idea if they knew what happened. They probably didn’t. 

So he pumped up the gas and broke the speed limits as he drove. Robin was tightening her grip on her seat but Steve didn’t slow down. He needed to check that the kids were okay.

Him and Robin found Dustin and Erica as the boy was clinging to his radio and shouting words into it. Erica spotted them first and pulled at Dustin’s t-shirt. 

Once Steve was at the top Dustin started to list questions after questions. 

“What happened? Did they blow up the gate? Is the mind flayer gone? Is everybody okay?” The curly haired teenager asked frantically with his eyes wide open. 

They definitely didn’t know. “Fuck.” Steve thought again. He realized he was going to be the one to break the news to Dustin. He looked back at Robin who gave him an encouraging nod and Steve couldn’t help but notice how watery her eyes were. Robin didn’t even know Hopper, what was Dustin going to react like? And Erica, she was so young to know all these.

Steve clapped his hands to get Dustin to stop listing questions. He stared into Dustin’s eyes and wondered how the kid kept his kid energy this long after they have been through. He hoped that Dustin would still keep that energy even after hearing Steve’s news. 

“Gate is blown. Mind flayer is gone.” Steve said counting with his fingers and giving out a deep breath in the end. 

Dustin gave him the exact reaction he was expecting. Dustin's eyebrows furrowed as he looked in between Steve and Robin. 

“You are not telling something.” he said with the most worried expression Steve had ever seen Dustin in.

The kid was too observing for his own good. Steve wished he wasn’t a young adult. He wished he wasn’t the one to have this conversation with Dustin. But if there was one way to honor Jim Hopper that was to support the others. 

He looked over at Robin once again for moral support. She had pulled Erica next to her and Erica who didn’t take anybody’s shit for their whole time together was holding onto Robin’s arm. Steve really didn’t want to be there.

“Billy’s dead.” he said first and watched as Dustin’s silently nodded as his face fell down. 

Steve knew the kid was worried about Max and how she was feeling rather than being sorry for Billy. Even Steve didn’t know how to feel about Billy’s death, how would a bunch of pre-teens would know? 

“And…” Steve took a big shaky breath and gave it out. “…Hopper’s gone too."

Dustin looked at Steve with his eyes wide open and his eyebrows raised. The younger boy was waiting for a sign from Steve that what he heard wasn’t true. Steve couldn’t give him that no matter how much he wished to.

A few seconds later, after what Steve said probably kicked into Dustin, the boy crushed into Steve causing him to take few steps back. Steve didn’t know how to react as Dustin sobbed onto him. Tears were soaking his stupid uniform that was also covered with blood and vomit. Eventually he threw his arms around Dustin and fought the urge to cry too. The kids didn’t know Barb, except for Will they didn’t know Bob personally. This was their first real loss and Steve didn’t know what to do. (He didn’t know Barb much and he didn’t know Bob at all. At least he would talk to Hopper from time to time. Hopper had driven him to hospital last year after Billy beat the shit out of him. Hopper had stayed with him as he got checked out even though the man wanted to be with El. This was his first real loss too.) He felt so useless as Dustin clung on to his uniform. 

* * *

_thousands of answers to one simple question come take this weight off me now_

A week later it was time for Billy’s funeral. Billy’s happened before Hopper’s because dying in a secret Russian base and your body not being found complicated things more than dying in the hands of an inter dimensional monster. 

Steve still didn’t know what to feel. To be honest if it wasn’t for Max he wasn’t so sure he would be there. Who would want to go to the funeral of the person who gave them a concussion right? Maybe it was unfair thinking like this after the dead but Steve gave himself a moral pass following everything he had been through with demogorgons, demodogs and secret Russian bases. His nose throbbed not from the the beat up of the last week but from the hollow pain from where Billy hit him last year. 

Steve stood in the corner in the far back and watched people. He had decided that he needed to be more observant (much more like Dustin). Max was in a black dress standing next to her mother and her step-father. Steve knew the kids wanted to stand next to her because they talked about that the whole ride. Yeah, Steve being Steve had given them a ride here and it was the other reason he was at the funeral of Billy Hargrove. It was Lucas, Dustin, Mike and Will. El wasn’t ready to go out yet since she was dealing with her own loss and Max understood that, Steve knew. 

After the funeral was over Steve found Max sitting all by herself on a bench. She had probably asked for some time alone because there was no way those kids would leave her there. He asked before sitting down and Max nodded without speaking. That was a sight Steve wasn’t used to. He had been seeing a lot of sights he wasn’t used to lately.

“I’m surprised you are here.” Max said without looking at him. Then she quickly added, “That came out wrong. I mean after everything, you didn’t have to come.”

“The other little shits needed a ride.” Steve said shrugging and hoped that this would help lighten the mood a little. It didn’t help.

A minute of silence passed and Steve felt so useless once again. As the older one present he should have said something or done something but he was just so lost at what he could say or do. Sure, nothing could have prepared him for this but he wished he had more knowledge about life before he befriended a group of kids. 

“I hated him. He treated me like shit, he threatened Lucas all the time, he beat you up. But I didn’t want him to die.” She said suddenly while tears rolled down her cheek. She wiped them off in a swift movement with the back of her hand, “Especially not like that."  
  
She was basically summing up his thoughts too. Yeah, Steve hated Billy in all of his smug bully glory but he never wanted him to die. He wasn’t fighting with him at the Byers house to death. He just wanted to get him off Lucas and protect the kids.

“I know.” he said trying to sound as genuine as possible. 

Max looked up at him this time while she sniffled. Looking at her face caused the same effect on Steve as Dustin’s sobs. Steve wanted to cry too. 

“Do you think if he lived a little longer he would become a better person?” she asked playing with the hems of her dress. Her voice was so ambiguous that Steve didn’t know which answer she was expecting.

“I don’t know.” he said deciding to be truthful because it looked like that was what Max needed.

“I don’t think he would.” Max said with another sniffle completely surprising Steve. 

On the one hand Steve agreed with her (okay, Steve was the proof that people could change but all his popular terribleness aside he never attacked kids for no reason and well, Billy had 18 years of no change.) and saying that he would have changed could give Max something to obsess over. Sure, when Billy realized what he had done he had sacrificed himself and that was heroic but did it really make up for all the things he had done before? On the other hand, there was no way they would now was there? 

“Maybe. I really don’t know.” he said opting for the truth again but it just felt like he was repeating himself.

She didn’t say anything and just kept facing front watching other people. Steve was hearing her sniffles in between the silence.

“You can be sad. It’s okay to be sad no matter what.” he added hoping something as simple as this would work. 

He really had no idea what to do. Losing someone you loved was hard to get over enough; losing someone you had a complicated relationship must have been harder. Again, he only said what he thought of. 

It must have worked because out of nowhere Max had hugged him from the side and buried her face to his torso. Steve after getting over his initial shock wrapped her arm around her. He had to get more adjusted to sudden hugs from the kids. Another day, another shirt soaked up with tears of those little shits. They were just so young to be dealing with all this.

They sat like that for a few minutes as Steve just let Max pour everything out. He wondered if she was able to cry like this at home. When she finally raised her head she wiped the remaining tears with her hands. Steve wished he had some napkins with him to give her. 

He looked over her shoulder to see Lucas standing a little far away watching them with worry. Max noticed his gaze and looked behind to see Lucas too. Lucas gave Max a small, uncertain wave and she returned it with an even smaller wave. 

“He is trying so hard.” Max said softly and Steve could swear he saw a tint of smile.

“I can see that.” Steve said while being amazed at how great and loyal these kids were. “You should let him and the others in.” He added with a forced smile.

Max looked up at him with still tears in her eyes and nodded. Steve knew Max could be so stubborn sometimes so she had the potential to close herself off. But she shouldn’t be doing that this time; she needed the party.

She got up slowly and stood in front of Steve.

“Thank you Steve.” she said and he believed he did something good.

“Anytime red.” he answered still desperately trying to lighten the mood.

She stopped walking midway and turned back to Steve.

“I’ll never have a proper brother now I guess.” she said looking down.

And Steve really didn’t know what to answer to that. The kids acted like he was one of them and most of the time he did too. He was down for all their harmless shenanigans and honestly they were so much smarter than he was. But he also saw himself as like an older figure for them. Not like someone they could look up to because God knows they were better than him in everything but like someone to watch out for them. 

“You still have me.” Steve said shrugging hoping he wasn’t crossing a line. 

Turns out he wasn’t because Max looked up and Steve saw a definite tint of smile this time. Without saying anything she turned around and skipped next to Lucas. Steve watched them as he extended his hand for Max to hold but she looked around before doing that probably checking for her step-father. She must have not spotted him because a second later Max grabbed his hand and they walked out of the cemetery together. 

Steve still had a ride to give to the other dip shits. 

* * *

_oh, I’m like a kid who just won’t let it go, twisting and turning the colors in rows_

It was a couple of days after Hopper’s funeral and El wanted to go to the cabin. Naturally, nobody wanted her to go alone so Mike and Max had jumped in saying they could go with her. El insisted that she wanted to be alone and Mike and Max shared a sympathetic look. They weren’t going to push any further. Steve was there when this argument happened in the Byers house because he was driving the kids somewhere, again.

The party wasn’t going but there was no way the young adults and Joyce was going to let her go by herself up to there. Ms.Byers was back to work in the day because she needed a distraction. Following all the chaos Nancy and Jonathan had somehow gotten their internships back (probably because the newspaper was out of staff). So the driving duties fell upon Steve’s shoulder. Not that he was complaining. He no longer had a job which meant that his days were filled with hanging out with Robin and running after the kids. They might be almost in high school but Steve was never going to stop calling them “the kids.”

Steve picked El up from the Byers house and they drove up to the cabin very silently. Steve at most was left alone with El for like five minutes. He really had no idea what to say to her. Especially about Hopper dying. He at least knew Max somewhat to comfort her. Aside from knowing she had superpowers and one half-assed story about her from the kids where they all talked over each other, Steve didn’t know El.

Eleven stood at the door of the cabin a little while before entering. Steve was staying behind trying to give her some space. He decided that was all he could do. According to the other kids’ story she had been through enough. She deserved a long life in a happy house with Hopper while doing normal teenager stuff with the party, Steve thought.

When she finally entered the house Steve followed silently and stood there as she slowly walked from room to room. She was hesitatingly touching at stuff on the counters and the walls while she walked. 

El disappeared into another room and Steve awkwardly stayed in the middle of the living room. His eye caught on a comic left on the table. It was a Marvel one probably one of the other kids left it there in an attempt to get El get interested in their nerdy stuff. Since he had nothing better to do he started flipping through the pages.

“Max said to take his shirts.” A couple of minutes later El said entering back. 

Steve was so startled that he almost dropped the comic book from his hands. He literally caught it mid air and then slowly put it back on the table like nothing happened. So stealthy, he thought. He looked up to see that Eleven had three shirts, presumably of Hopper’s, in her hands. 

“She said to feel him near.” El added.

“Yeah, that makes sense.” Steve said nodding. How was he messing this up more than his talk with Max?

El disappeared into a room again and Steve realized how weird he looked just standing there so he threw himself on a couch. She came back a minute later holding a bag. Steve watched as she sat on the floor and started stuffing the shirts into that said bag. She looked at him after all the stuffing was done.

“Do you have a father?” she asked with her puffy eyes wide open.

With El’s lack of filtration when she talked she was bound to ask the hard questions.

“I do.” Steve answered avoiding looking at the girl.

“Is he nice?” she asked softly.

Steve took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He hated talking about his family. Especially lately because his dad had been all over him to get a new job. They literally didn’t notice him being gone in that Russian base for a whole day (they just assumed he was at a friend’s house).

“He is not Max’s step-father but he is not Hopper either.” Steve answered opting for the truth once again.

El looked at her with a confused expression with her head tilted to the side and eyebrows furrowed.

“I mean he doesn’t hurt me but he is not good with me like Hopper was with you.” Steve explained.

That was as simple as he could make. He didn’t need to confuse El more with his dad’s various cheating on his mom and the various emotional trauma he endured since his childhood. 

“I’m sorry.” El said and Steve wanted to cry. 

Between everything she was going through with just one sentence she managed to get sad for him too. 

“Don’t worry about me kid. I can manage. Didn’t Dustin tell you I even won my first fight this year?” he said trying to finish it off by a smile and pushing down his own family issues.

There it was. He managed to make El smile a little. She went back to her room and came back carrying a few of her clothes and books. She grabbed one notebook and handed it to Steve. He reluctantly took it and opened it up. There were a bunch of words and next to them their meanings written on every page. The hard to read ones must be El’s hand writing, Steve thought and the big lettered ones he guessed belonged to Hopper. 

“Hopper showed me a new word everyday.” she said sitting next to Steve.

Steve looked over a few more pages and saw that there were tiny notes written in some pages. There were a bunch of doodlings from El as well. It was cute, Steve admitted. Hopper teaching El the world unlike his father who never helped him with his schoolworks. 

“The party would love to teach you their nerdy words if you ask them.” Steve said trying to console her and give her something to look forward to. 

She nodded and took the notebook back. He was back to doing not so good.

“I can teach you one too.” He said with a small smile. “If you want to.” he added quickly suddenly getting nervous. 

El nodded again but this time it was a faster nod. She ran to her room and came back with a pen. Steve turned to her on the couch while El crossed her legs and opened the notebook. 

Steve had suggested that but he couldn’t think of a word on the top off his mind. It was not like Steve knew much fancy words. She probably already knew all the words Steve knew. Then he found the perfect one for her situation.

“Technically, it’s not a word.” Steve said and El stared at him ready to write. "Do you know what a saying is? It’s like a sentence that everybody knows.”

No wonder he barely passed English. El was holding her pen tight over the page.

“The saying is, ‘It’s always darkest before the dawn.’” He said eventually. 

She immediately started to copy it down but she wasn’t the fastest at writing. Steve waited for her to finish to give the definition. 

“What does it mean?” she asked with the same kind of curiosity in her eyes as when Dustin made Steve put that demogorgon into the Byers fridge. 

“It means that the moment things seem really terrible, it’s when things are about to get good." he answered with a tiny smile hoping he was able to explain.

He apparently did because El had a teary smile as she copied the meaning down. Steve had to repeat it a few times for her to catch every word. 

“Thanks Steve.” she said as she put a dot and wrote ‘from Steve’ next to the word. 

Steve smiled as she got up and continued with her packing. It might have been the first time he ever taught something to any of the little shits. 

It was a weird wish but he wished his dad was more like Hopper. As Eleven walked around the tiny cabin Steve thought about how in their little time together Hopper had managed to raise Eleven as the nicest kid ever. If only they had more time. This isn’t fair, Steve thought. El and Ms.Byers and the kids and Hawkins and the world wasn’t supposed to lose Jim Hopper. 

He wished he knew the man more. There was so much Steve could have learned from him. He wasn’t religious yet, as he closed the cabin door behind him he promised to look out for El hoping Hopper was hearing it from somewhere.

* * *

_I’m so intent to find out what it is, this is my Rubik’s cube I know I will figure it out_

It was exactly a month after the “Battle of Starcourt”. The kids had named it that and who was Steve to argue. Currently, he was sitting in his car with Robin eating a hamburger, fries and drinking a milkshake. His face wasn’t still completely healed. There was a tinge of bruising on his cheeks and under his eyes. But it didn’t hurt anymore (physically). Because the kids always dropped something inside and messed up his car Steve was on the edge the whole time.

“Be careful, be careful!” he yelled every minute at Robin.

“I’m not one of your children dingus.” she replied as she took a big sip from her milkshake.

Steve rolled his eyes and went back to his hamburger. In his head he answered ‘They’re your children now too.’ but he didn’t say that out loud. A few minutes passed and Steve was almost finished with his meal.

“You never told me the full story.” Robin said holding up a fry.

“What story?” Steve asked with his mouth full of fries. He had used all his brain power on the kids lately.

Robin groaned which Steve guessed was because of the fries dangling from his mouth.

“That didn’t seem like your first rodeo with the…” She paused and Steve understood what she was talking about then. “…monsters.”

Steve swallowed the food in his mouth. He had managed to dodge this topic with Robin for a full month. The only information she had given him was that there was a place called Upside-Down where all these creatures came from and that El had some superpowers. She was bound to ask more one day and Steve knew that but he still didn’t prepare. Everybody else involved in this supernatural mess either saw everything from the beginning or like in Max’s case was filled in by other people. It was going to be the first time he was going to tell everything to another person.

“Do you really want to hear it all?” Steve asked carefully.

“If this isn’t the first time it happened it can happen again. I want to be prepared.” She said shrugging.

Her tone was so light but the sentence made Steve’s head pound. He was trying not to think about that possibility no matter how much it was true. Add this onto his guilt of making Robin get involved with this, safe to say he was feeling really down.

“But remember you asked.” he said putting on a role and trying to make a joke out of it.

“I’m all ears Harrington.” she said turning around to Steve. She had her one foot up on the seat and her milkshake was resting in between her legs. 

“Remember when Will Byers disappeared and everybody though he died?” he said slowly.

Robin nodded slurping from the milkshake. The sound of that wasn’t helping Steve’s head pound.

“As you know, turns out he wasn’t dead. He was in that place called the Upside-Down. I have no idea what it is exactly. The kids, they explain it by their nerdy stuff.”

“Okay.” Robin said in a rather confused tone, something unlike her. “What about Eleven?”

“Basically, the government did some experiments on her mother and her. So she developed some kind of superpowers. They kept her until she escaped around when Will disappeared.” Steve explained.

“That-that’s awful.” Robin said holding her leg that was up. 

“Oh there is more awfulness coming, get ready.” Steve said hoping his tone wasn’t too snarky. 

“How did you get involved in this Harrington? That year, you weren’t the one to hang out with middle schoolers.” She said.

Yeah, that year Steve was the worst version of himself and he never ever wanted to go back to that asshole “King Steve” period. 

“I was with Nancy then. She is the big sister of Mike as you know. She was helping Jonathan about Will and was looking for Barb. You remember her?” Steve asked looking down. 

“Yes. Didn’t she die because of some government conspiracy?” she asked, again confused.

“Not really.” Steve said chuckling bitterly. “Upside-Down got her. When she was at my house with Nancy. She was at the pool one minute and gone the other.”

He was still looking down. He wasn’t even halfway done with the story but it was already too much for him. Steve tried not to think of Barb, he tried not watching that pool every time he was at home. He hadn’t used it ever since fall of ’83. Part of the reason why he was so so desperate to play the role of the normal teenager last Halloween was to suppress his guilt of Barb. He didn’t care enough and if he only did maybe things would be different. 

“Steve…” Robin said softly and he felt like she was seeing right through him and his guilt.

“Anyway, being the asshole I was I got jealous and did some bad stuff.” He didn’t feel like specifying the bad stuff to his new best friend. “When I went to apologize to Jonathan, Nancy was there too and apparently they were trying to catch one kind of those monsters. We call it ‘the demogorgon’.”

“So Nancy really isn’t a priss?” Robin said shaking her head and sounding impressed.

“Nope.” He paused and looked up. “You know, I almost drove away. But then I didn’t and I helped them. We took down that demogorgon. Will was back at home. I didn’t know her then but El was gone.” 

Robin was now leaning her back to the door and she was done with her meal.

“When exactly did you decide to adopt six children?” she asked with a smirk so clearly trying to clear up the weight of the talk a bit.

“Getting there. Be a little patient.” Steve said with a smirk. Yeah, her tactic was working. “Last fall, Nancy and I broke up. But I was, as you can guess, not over her. So I went over to the Wheeler house only to bump into Dustin.” 

“The start of a family.” she said still smirking and Steve rolled his eyes.

On the outside Steve hated her teasing but deep down he loved them, they were fun. Right now, they were just helping him continue. 

“Dustin being Dustin had taken in a baby demogorgon as a pet-

“What?” Robin cut in with her eyes wide open. Steve nodded and raised his hand.

“Yeah! But he didn’t know at first that it was a baby demogorgon. He had this plan to lure it and I helped him. Then Max and Lucas joined. While all this was going on Nancy and Jonathan were trying to get the Barb story published. Also, Will was, as it turns out, possessed by the Upside-Down. And-and by this time Hopper was looking after El.”

At the mention of Hopper’s name Steve’s heart broke again and even Robin’s face fell.

“Okay.” Robin said being back to her confused state.

“So we separated into three groups. Nancy, Jonathan, Ms.Byers tried to get that Mind Flayer thing out of Will and they succeeded. El went to close the gate with Hopper. I was to look after the remaining little shits.”

“You mean your children?” she asked but her smirk had clearly faltered now.

“But Billy came looking for Max and I had to protect my children.” He emphasized the ‘children’ part staring directly at Robin. “So I got my ass handed to me. The little shits stole my car and we blew up some tunnels that was some sort of a demodog hub.” He finished abruptly because technically that was it.

“Is that all?” Robin asked.

“Well, there was some more death but I decided not to talk much about them.” Steve said sounding harsher than he intended to. 

Robin just nodded probably unsure about what to say next; damn, well Steve was too. He had poured this crazy, awful story at her and if she hadn’t seen the monster by her own eyes there was no chance she would believe in Steve. 

Robin turned around in her seat so that she was facing the front again. Steve quickly finished the rest of his meal and he looked at the front too. They sat like that for about five minutes watching the street until the silence became unbearable for Steve. 

“I’m sorry.” Steve said, not looking at Robin.

“For what dingus?” she asked genuinely surprised. 

He took a deep breath and gave it out. Why was every conversation he had for the past month so hard?

“For dragging you into this.” Steve said quietly. 

“Are you serious?” Steve saw in the corner of his eye that Robin was facing him again. “I got myself into this. Remember me being super smart, cracking the Russian code and all.” She added pointing at herself.

“I’m talking about the Upside-Down part.” he replied in a louder voice.

“You didn’t know it would lead to that supernatural shit.” She said sounding so firm.

And Steve wanted to believe her. A part of him did at least. Another part deep in his brain was definitely going to keep obsessing over this and make it a topic for his nightmares. He already had a few where they beat up Robin instead of him which made him wake up covered in sweat.

Steve nodded to show that he was convinced. Robin didn’t push anymore so she had to believe he was convinced. 

“If you ever want to talk about other dimensions or anything…” Steve said as he started the car.

“I’ll come to you dingus.” She said with a smile. “All and all you are a good listener but you are real slow at understanding.” She added while her smile turned into a full on grin.

It was a reminder to their time at the bathroom floor. Sure, it took more than a full minute for him to understand that Robin liked girls but in his defense he was getting beaten up an hour ago at a secret Russian base. His reaction was good though judging by how much she was laughing there. Not that he needed a pat on the shoulder for that because it was the decent thing to do; Robin was so nervous when she said that and all Steve could think about was to loosen her up a little and show that he was okay with her liking whoever she wanted. People liked whoever they liked, it was as simple as that. He had certainly come a long way from the old 'King Steve' days.

Despite everything, he got back on the road with a smile as Robin turned on the radio and started to sing along.

* * *

_lost in the playground, late night nostalgia_

It had been more than two months since the same shit with the Upside Down went down again. Steve and Robin had been applying to jobs but they didn’t have one yet. It was the weekend, his father was out of town and when he left home two days ago he warned Steve about getting a job and reminded him how he had no future since he wasn’t in college. Great parenting techniques, he thought. His mother was meeting with some friends just outside of Hawkins and was probably going to spend the night there.

So, Steve was alone in his big house getting bored out of his mind. Time passing had helped. His nightmares were still there but their occurrence had become less. He still kept the bat near him in the house and it would be in the trunk every time he went out but at least it wasn’t by his bedside at nights. He was no longer that sad when he thought about Jim Hopper (the kids were getting better too). He no longer drowned as much with the guilt that he had dragged Robin into this mess. Time was the medicine to everything, really.

Apparently, not for everybody because the Byers had decided to move away taking the honorary Byers Eleven with them too. Honestly Steve didn’t blame them. He knew how sad Ms.Byers was after Hopper’s death. That family had been through enough in this town so going away seemed like the best option. Not for Steve though. He still had four rascals to look after plus Robin. 

Steve sighed and tried focusing on the television screen in front of him. He really needed to get a hobby for himself to pass the days. 

The door bell rang and Steve groaned. It was probably Dustin there to drag him into the arcade or whatever the little shits were up to now. He walked over to the door and ignored the bat standing right next to it. It was not like demogorgons rang the door bell. 

He was surprised to see the little Byers standing at his doorstep holding a cardboard box. 

“Hi Steve.” he said softly. 

“Hi…” Steve said with a confused tone.

He looked at the road to see Jonathan standing outside of the car leaning on to it. Jonathan saw him too so he had to send a wave to the other boy to which Jonathan replied with an awkward wave of his own.

Will extended the medium sized box in his hands to Steve. And Steve just took it because well, no harm could come from Will Byers but he was very confused.

“It’s some of my old comics. I can’t take them all with me.” He said looking up at Steve.

“O-okay.” Steve said not understanding why he was the one to get them.

“Dustin told me how you didn’t have any comics and how you didn’t know any superheroes. I didn’t want to throw them away. I already gave some of my D&D stuff to Erica.” Will said explaining too much and Steve guessed he was nervous (Yes, Steve was starting to become more observant).

“Erica? Lucas’s sister?” Steve asked surprised. He remembered the time she called everybody ‘nerds’ in the tunnels and how she made fun of everyone.

“Yeah.” Will said with a tiny smile. “Turns out or as Dustin says she is a nerd too.” 

“Thanks man.” Steve said with a big smile. Just when he was searching for a hobby Will Byers had dropped on his doorstep. 

“I know you have a bat and superheroes have their own weapons too. Like how Captain America has his shield.” Will said looking less nervous but still shifting between his feet.

Was Steve dreaming or did the kid just compare him to a superhero? Nothing to lift the spirits of a jobless and futureless Steve like some pre-teen calling him a hero. He tried not to get obsessed over it.

“I know him. His name is Steve too.” Steve said even with a bigger smile which made Will smile more too. “Okay, be honest me or Captain America?” He asked with a smirk.

Will thought for a few seconds and from his face it was clear to Steve that the boy was thinking hard. Steve smiled at how Will had taken his joke of a question so seriously.

“Captain America saved the world multiple times. But he is not real. You are real and you have been saving my friends and me.” Will said in the most determined voice Steve had ever seen him with. 

Steve didn’t expect to almost cry over the words of a pre-teen on this fine Saturday. When Dustin said things like this Steve got emotional too but he always knew the kid would exaggerate things. With Will though it was so clear that he wasn’t exaggerating that this was simply a fact in his eyes.

“You shits saved me just the same.” Steve said with a shrug and a little teary smile. 

Will smiled back at him despite all the pain of the memories. It felt like their conversation had come to an end and Steve’s arms were getting tired from carrying the box. That’s when he remembered Dustin’s words about feeling abandoned and how everybody was rushing to grow up and how Will took it the worst. That must be the reason the boy was giving out his most prized possessions. 

“Hey, Will. Just give them time.” Steve said. That was too vague he needed to explain more. Why wasn’t he getting any better at talking to these kids? “They’ll try to act all grown up but they’ll come around later and just be themselves again. Even faster than I did.”

Will looked at him with a tiny smile and Steve hoped that the kid believed him. It was true what he said. Everybody would think they were so grown now that they were at high school and a little time would pass and they’d realize they weren’t grown up at all. For Steve it took him almost all high school to realize that. The little shits were much better than him at anything so they would be better getting their heads out of their asses too. 

“Dustin told me a little about it. He feels left out too, you know? That’s why he keeps trailing after me and Robin.” Steve said with a reassuring smile. 

He hoped that this little piece of information could get Dustin and Will to talk about how they were feeling about their friends. It would be a better support for both of them than Steve could provide. If it was up to him he would knock some sense into the other kids because they might have missed it but Will didn’t exactly get a childhood, did he?

“Thanks, Steve.” Will said smiling a little more brightly now as if he understood what Steve was getting at. 

After that Will said a little “Goodbye." to him and turned around while Steve put the box down inside the house. He shook his arms to relieve them from all the tiredness. He turned back around, to the door to see Jonathan standing there with a smaller cardboard box. 

Steve felt a little weird to see the older Byers clearly with something to give to him. They weren’t enemies surely but it was not like they were friends either. More like acquaintances who occasionally fought with inter dimensional monsters together. Steve wasn’t mad at Nancy or Jonathan because they were together now. He had no right to be mad. Didn't stop him from feeling weird though.

“Will said he was going to bring you some of his stuff and I had some records I wasn’t taking with me. I don’t know if they are your taste but I didn’t know who else to give them to.” Jonathan said while looking around and shifting between his feet. 

Yeah, if he didn’t know them Steve would definitely think Will and Jonathan were somehow related just because of how similar their reactions were. 

“That’s cool. Thank you.” Steve said trying not to sound so awkward as he took the box from Jonathan.

They stood there trying not to look at each other for a full minute. If taking down the Mind Flayer together didn’t erase some of the tension Steve didn’t know what would.

“It’s nice by the way.” Jonathan said slowly looking at Steve. “How you take care of the kids and how you drive them to places and all.” He added putting his hand in his jeans pockets.

Steve definitely was not expecting that. Some people like Mrs.Henderson had said that to him not knowing his ‘King Steve’ past and thinking that he was some sort of a babysitter. It was a new thing coming from Jonathan and it made Steve really happy (and a little proud of himself).

“They are so much trouble but fun too.” Steve said shrugging trying not to show his happiness.

Steve and Jonathan smiled at each other for a minute before the older Byers turned around with a little “Goodbye" too. 

“Promise me something Byers…” Steve said catching Jonathan midway. “Go to college and make the most of it.” He added with a somehow fake smile that he hoped covered his sadness over not going to university himself.

Steve saw an understanding pass through Jonathan’s eyes as he shook his head up and down and smiled. Jonathan would have gone to college anyway not because Steve Harrington said so but still Steve felt like he needed to say that. Maybe it would be the one good thing he did for Jonathan Byers. He watched Jonathan get into the car and kept watching until the car disappeared on the road.

He closed the door with a feeling that him and Jonathan were now somewhere in between acquaintances and friends. It was nice to not leave any bad blood with anybody. Since they were bound to deal with the Upside Down again, considering their track record, it would be useful to have a better relationship with him.

Steve closed the TV and carried the two boxes up to his room. He pulled out a record which turned out to be a “The Clash” one. He glanced over at other records and saw “The Smiths” and “Joy Division” too. Of course, he chuckled to himself. He put “The Clash” one into the pickup his parents bought for him years ago at Christmas, back when they used to be home for it.

He pulled out a comic from the other box which turned out to be a “Spider-Man” issue. There was certainly an order to read them, Dustin rambled something about it, but Steve didn’t care as he jumped on his bed and started going through the pages. 

No more getting bored, he thought.

* * *

  
  
_open the sky for me now_

Steve pulled up to the Wheeler driveway with Robin at the shotgun. He groaned as he stopped the car and got out of it. Two days ago Dustin, Lucas and Max had barged into the video store and created total chaos. Steve had shushed them down and asked them to explain one by one-he didn’t want to lose this job he hardly found. The reason of their chaos was that they were worried about Mike after El and Will had left. Apparently, the middle Wheeler had been bailing on their hang outs and wasn’t doing so well in his first year of high school either. 

Steve didn’t know how he could have changed that but the three dip shits were jumping up and down saying he needed to talk to Mike. Robin, obviously heard the whole conversation and wanted to come along. Normally, the two would do what they did every Friday : go to either one of their houses with a movie Robin chose to widen Steve’s cinema knowledge and order pizza. But now they were on 'babysitter duty' as Robin liked to call it.

He rang the door bell and waited for the answer. Of course, it was Nancy who opened the door. 

“Hi, Steve.” she said staring at him confusedly. 

“I’m here for Mike.” he said running a hand through his hair. Turns out talking to the new boyfriend of his ex-girlfriend was easier than talking to the said ex-girlfriend. 

Steve thought about how it almost been a year since they broke up (and he fought with demo dogs). Time really flies, he said to himself.

“Was he meeting with the others today? He didn’t say.” Nancy said with scowl.

“No, actually I wanted to talk to him.” Steve said with a sigh. It was weird that he had never developed any kind of relationship with Mike when the two were dating and now that they have been apart for so long Steve was checking up on the kid.

Nancy looked inside and closed the door behind her a little which ended up giving Steve a scowl on his face.

“Is it about how he has been lately?” Nancy asked with a concern in her voice. 

After everything they have been through it looked like the Wheeler siblings were close than ever. Nancy was always a somewhat good sister, Steve knew that but she wasn’t noticing things all the time before. Maybe she had learned to be more observant too.

“Yeah.” Steve said with another sigh. “The other little shits came to me said they were worried about him.”

“I couldn’t get to him maybe you can.” Nancy said shaking her head with a faint smile. 

Then she yelled inside to get Mike to the door who froze with a kind of disgusted expression when he saw Steve. After two minutes of talking he didn’t understood why he had to go with Steve and was about to go back to the basement. 

“HURRY UP DINGUS!” Robin yelled from the car while honking.

The three heads snapped at Steve’s car while Steve closed his eyes and pinched his nose. He could count in Robin with “his children” too. Finally, Nancy somehow, probably by bribing Mike with whatever, convinced her brother to go talk with Steve. He added onto it by saying it was about his friends. With that Mike was out the door in a second. I should have started with that, Steve thought.

After driving around for about five minutes Steve still didn’t know how to start the conversation. He decided to have this talk in a moving car to not give Mike a chance to run away.

“Are you going to tell me what this is all about?” Mike asked with crazy hand gestures showing inside the car. “Is everybody okay?” He added in a softer tone.

Mike was really their leader Steve thought.

“Everybody is okay.” He paused and looked at Mike through the mirror. “This is about you.”

“Me?” Mike asked almost offended.

“Your other three shit head friends are worried about you. They said you haven’t been hanging with them lately.” Steve said slowly.

“Yeah, well Dustin himself is hanging with you two all the time.” Mike said scoffing.

Before Steve was able to find an answer that was both defensive of Dustin and didn’t get Mike mad his right-hand babysitter aka Robin jumped in.

“It’s only because you dinguses are making him feel left out and don’t even care.” Robin said harshly turning back to Mike in her seat.

Steve groaned quietly. He was questioning why did he ever brought Robin along with him. Mike already disliked him enough to make this conversation harder than it was supposed to be. A part of him though, liked how Robin jumped up to support Dustin. Steve didn’t play favorites but it was a fact that he was the closest with Henderson.

“Robin-just let me talk, okay?” Steve said and Robin groaned this time. 

Steve was sure she was rolling her eyes too while Mike glared at him from the back seat.

“I know your best friend and girlfriend going away is hard.” Even if he didn’t went through the same thing it must be hard. “The others miss Will and El too. You are not alone in this. And you know, Max needs a lot of support right now.” He added softly. 

He thought mentioning Max specifically would help because after everything that went down those two were close now. They weren’t arguing all the time at least.

“Why do you CARE?” Mike said angrily, showing Steve’s soft voice wasn’t helping.

“What?” Steve asked almost surprised that this was the question and reaction he was receiving. 

“Why don’t you go back to your STUPID JOB? And caring about your hair all the time and BULLYING people and drinking and smoking and doing WHATEVER THE HELL you did before?” Mike said shouting in between his words as his face went a little red.

Steve never understood why him and Mike never really hit it off. Sure, it was obvious at the beginning but after him getting beaten up to protect Lucas and protecting them at the tunnels and protecting Dustin at the Russian base and saving his sister and two of his best friends by crushing the car into Billy’s and driving them to places and hanging with them and… At some point he thought Mike would start liking him and not throw all this to his face.

He suddenly pushed the brakes right after Mike’s sentence had ended. He saw Robin and Mike both go forward with the sudden power of it all. Robin turned to him with her eyes wide open ready to yell but she never got the chance. 

“I WISH I COULD WHEELER I REALLY DO. I WISH I DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT OTHER DIMENSIONS AND MONSTERS. I WISH I WAS AT UNIVERSITY PARTYING OR WORKING FOR MY ASSHOLE DAD OR ANYTHING ORDINARY. BUT I CAN’T.” He paused for a breath avoiding looking at Mike or Robin. “So HATE ME all you want but know that your friends NEED you.”

He didn’t really wish that at least not with the way he was like before. If he could be at university right now not knowing about all the shit that went down in Hawkins with this new, improved version of Steve he would take that chance. But he wouldn’t be who he was today without all the shit that went down. Yes, he loved the kids and his new best friend Robin so much. Still, in the corner of his mind he always thought what would it be like just living the life of a stupid teen that was so blissfully unaware of everything. 

Steve could see Robin looking at him from the side. He gulped and took a little glance at her face. Her eyes were soft in a concerned way. He just nodded at her to show he was okay and she didn’t say anything to which Steve was grateful for. Mike was sulked back in his chair probably taken aback by Steve’s reaction. 

It was only two minutes after Steve started the car that the conversation started again.

“I don’t hate you.” Mike said in a so quiet voice Steve almost didn’t hear it.

Steve was reluctant to believe him because every single interaction he had with Mike proved otherwise. Yet, something about how he sounded and how he looked away seemed like Mike meant what he said. Steve took a deep breath and gave it out. He slowly stopped this time and parked the car. 

“I-I just explode like this sometimes. I didn’t mean it.” Mike said still in the same low voice. 

Steve turned around to look at him and saw the reminder of a painful memory behind the boy’s eyes. He recognized it from his own emotions like when he repeated the word ‘bullshit’ to Robin only to remember the time Nancy called everything about him bullshit.

“It’s okay Wheeler. I’ve heard worse.” Steve said knowing Robin was watching him as she surprisingly kept quiet.

“It’s actually nice how you stuck around and how much you care. It certainly makes Dustin happy.” Mike said finally looking up at Steve.

Another sight Steve wasn’t used to : Mike Wheeler saying something good about him. Steve was only now starting to believe that Mike didn’t really hate him.

“I stick around because I don’t trust you shit heads to not burn Hawkins to the ground doing your daily troubles.” Steve said with a small grin hoping to clear the air between them.

It did help because Mike was no longer so sulked back that he almost disappeared into the seat. Instead, he straightened a little and raised his head.

“What did they tell you?” Mike asked pulling on his sleeves.

“They are just scared that you will push them away like when you did last year when you thought El was gone.” Steve said softly as Mike looked down again. “Maybe you don’t think so but they understand you this time. Their best friends are gone too.”

“You guys should be together now more than ever. To not let the party break or something.” Robin added. She was clearly over her anger at Mike now. 

Robin who had been teasing him non-stop about adopting six children had come to co-adopt them with him. It was nice to have Robin as a helper with the kids as Steve still didn’t think he was qualified for all these heart-to-hearts.

“It’s hard because they remind me of El and Will. And I don’t even know how to deal with this on my own. How can I know how to help them?” Mike said finally in a normal voice.

“That’s the thing you don’t have to know. Sometimes you just have to let people in so that you can all help each other.” Robin replied softly beating Steve to it.

Steve couldn’t help but wonder whether or not Robin meant the two of them in her sentence. It was clear none of them knew how to deal with their own shit but somewhere along running away from Russians Robin came out to him and later Steve opened up to her. Now, somehow they were helping each other.

“I know you are the leader-“ Steve started. 

“Paladin.” Mike corrected with an eye roll and it felt like they were back to being who they were. 

“Right, you are the paladin but even you need others and they clearly need you. At least they need you to talk to them.” Steve continued and Mike nodded to show he understood.

“And about Max, she doesn’t need anything else to worry about okay?” Steve added softly.

“I know.” Mike said with another nod. 

From hating each other to fighting over what is good for El to being best friends Max and Mike had come a long way. Steve knew, they especially bonded over both missing their respective best friends.

“Now can we go get some pizza because I am hungry.” Robin said with a grin.

Steve smiled too and looked at Mike who seemed better now. He was even better than when they picked him up. It looked like some of the light had came back to his eyes. 

“I am obviously tagging along.” Mike said with a small smile that Steve could settle for.

“Obviously.” Steve echoed him as he started the car again. He drove for a minute or two as he kept glancing at Mike through the mirror. “Hey, middle Wheeler. You can talk to me too. Anytime.” Steve said looking at him in the mirror.

“Thanks, nice to know that ‘dad’.” Mike said with his most amused smirk. 

Robin cracked next to Steve laughing her ass off. Steve saw her turn around and give Mike a high-five. He chose to retaliate later and laughed as he kept driving. 

Yeah, they were back to being themselves but in a better way. At the fall of 1985 Steve had finally managed to win over Mike Wheeler and it was going to be one of the good things Steve would remember about the year. 

* * *

_friends round the fire, outside in December open the sky for me now_

Steve was on his break, smoking in front of the video store when four of his favorite shit heads came rolling with their means of transportation. Dustin, Lucas and Mike were on their bikes and Max was on her skateboard. The moment they arrived at the store they stopped and ditched their bikes and skateboard on the sidewalk. 

“Smoking kills.” Max said with a grin as she opened the store door.

“Yeah, no shit.” Steve yelled after her.

Dustin, walked over to him with a big smile and they did their smaller scale handshake which didn’t have a laser saber fight but some complicated high fives. Mike, gave him a fist bump and a smile as he got inside following Dustin. (Steve and Mike had been working on a handshake of their own too but nothing was decided yet). 

“Hi.” Lucas said as he came and stood next to him.

“Hi.” Steve said as he put off his cigarette. “I better never see any of you shit heads smoking. I don’t care that you are in high school. No underage drinking and never ever smoking.” He said pointing his finger at Lucas.

“You are doing both.” Lucas said rolling his eyes.

“Do what I say not what I do.” Steve replied with a side smirk. 

Lucas rolled his eyes again and leaned on to the wall like Steve was doing. The two of them watched the street and people passing by. 

“Can I talk to you about something?” Lucas asked turning his face to Steve.

It was rare that any of the kids came to him to talk, vent or ask for advice. Only Dustin would directly come to him. Mostly, Steve knew the hard situations they were in so he approached to them or he was made to approach. 

And with Lucas it was different than other kids. Steve saw Dustin as kind of the little brother he never had. Dustin was the one to annoy and support him the most and Steve did just the same to him. Max was like a younger sister to him so he had this sort of protectiveness of her. El, with her lack of daily knowledge seemed so young to Steve. Will, after everything he had been through and with his kindness was again so young. Mike was the most likable little shit who always made fun of him for being old. But Lucas, he was the one Steve saw him almost as an equal. 

“Sure. Fire up.” Steve said with a smile.

“How are you dealing with everything?” Lucas asked. 

“Everything? You mean the young adult life where I have the crappiest job?” Steve questioned with his eyebrows furrowed and a confused smile. 

“No, no.” Lucas said shaking his head. Then, he started fidgeting. "You know with the Upside Down and the demogorgons and the monsters. That everything.” He finished as he turned his eyes back to the street.

“Oh, that.” Steve said totally awkwardly. If Robin was there she would surely make fun of his reaction.

His first thoughts were that Lucas was going to ask about some stupid high school thing or relationship advice or something about how to help Max. Not like a general trauma question. He didn’t deal with it, did he? He wasn’t going to say that to a high school freshman who had two years of trauma of his own though. 

“Did something happen?” Steve asked because it had been almost five months since they fought with the Mind Flayer and this felt like an overdue talk.

Lucas looked at him and scanned him from bottom to top. It was almost like he was questioning whether or not he should tell more. 

“I had a nightmare.” Lucas finally said almost in a whisper.

Of course he did. If Steve was having nightmares everybody else involved in this crazy mess was having nightmares too. Steve really wished he was the only one though. 

“What was it about?” Steve asked carefully while fighting the urge to light up another cigarette.

“I never thought of the fireworks. We never threw them at the mind flayer.” Lucas replied tapping his feet. “And El died.” he added with a quieter voice.

Jesus Christ, Steve thought. Lucas was 14 years old and having nightmares about one of his best friends dying because of him (all while Steve thought Lucas was just fine). When Steve was 14 years old he was having his first smoke.

“But you found the fireworks. We threw them at the mind flayer. And El is alive.” Steve said firmly correcting every sentence Lucas has said.

This didn’t seem to help because Lucas only nodded to say that he knew all that. Considering Steve never had much of a serious conversation with Lucas and considering he thought Lucas was dealing better than the other kids Steve didn’t know what else to say. He then started to think about his own nightmares.

“I have nightmares too.” Steve said and Lucas turned fully at him. “In the most recent one I was slow so Billy hit you, Will, Nancy and Jonathan.” 

It was one of his constant nightmares. There was also two other constants; one, where they beat up Robin instead of him and one where Russians got to Dustin and Erica too. His older constants liked to visit from time to time too. Like the one where he didn’t run back and the demogorgon killed Nancy and Jonathan or the one where he lost one of the shit heads in the tunnels. His unconsciousness just loved to throw the second one at him. (There was also the ones where he was fully tortured by the Russians like with the bone saw and all. They were the scariest because the monsters were human.)

“But you weren’t slow.” Lucas said in a tiny cock smile trying to parallel Steve from two sentences before.

Steve pushed him from the shoulder playfully. Another sign how Steve saw them as equals.

“What do you do when you have them?” Lucas asked a few seconds later. 

He really didn't do anything other than repeating to himself that the nightmare wasn’t real. Sometimes he would sit up in his room and just wait for the morning. Will’s comics helped him with that. If his parents weren’t home, which mostly they weren’t, he would prop one of Jonathan’s records and listen to it till the sunrise. He decided “The Smiths” was his favorite. Other times after an hour and drinking some water he would be able to go to sleep. 

“I just remind myself that what I saw wasn’t real and everybody I saw dead was actually pretty much alive.” Steve said shrugging.

“Does it help?” Lucas asked. The boy was back to tapping his feet.

“Yeah, it does.” Steve lied. Maybe if Lucas believed that they would work his tips could actually help.

They stayed silent for a minute until they heard the yelling coming from inside the store. Robin sounded mad, Mike sounded annoyed while Max and Dustin’s laughs filled Steve and Lucas’s ears.

“You should talk to them. I’m sure the other rascals are having nightmares too.” Steve said softly (as if he ever talked to someone about his nightmares).

“I don’t want to burden them.” Lucas said with a small shrug.

Steve knew this damn too well. There was always someone that had it worse than him so he would just shut up. Lucas probably thought Max and El had it worse on account of them losing someone. For Lucas, Mike had it worse because his girlfriend was away while Lucas’s was there; Dustin, well according to what Dustin told Steve, always had it worse in Lucas’s eyes with his father bailing and Lucas’s father being present. Steve realized then that Mike could be the loud leader of the party but Lucas was the silent one.

“Two weeks ago you were complaining about Mike not talking to you.” He raised his eyebrows with a smirk. “Tables have turned, huh?”

“Fine.” Lucas said with a groan but it was a light groan. “I’ll talk to them."

A few more seconds passed with the loud noises continuing from the store as they watched the street. 

“So how are you doing with Max and all?” Steve asked nudging him a little. 

“Max hasn’t dumped me for the past five months so I should be doing something right.” Lucas answered with a smirk.

Steve reached and gave him a fist bump accompanied by a soft smile that unfortunately didn’t help at holding the positive atmosphere.

“She’s worse lately. I know she smiles and looks like she is back to being herself but she is not.” Lucas said looking down. “I know everybody thinks we are this couple that fights all the time but I know her.” He continued still looking down and emphasizing the ‘know’ part.

Sure, Steve was there for all their teenager antics. During his short time working at Scoops Ahoy they would often come in arguing over the most trivial things. Sometimes they would try to get Steve involved in their fights too but he knew better than to answer. After one or two ice creams they would leave the place happily this time.

“Look even with all your fighting you two have a far healthier relationship than I ever had. You are young. You are both so stubborn which means you will definitely fight.” Steve said with a big smile trying to push down the memory of his old meaningless and/or painful relationships.

Lucas chuckled a little. Clearly, Steve’s little remark about their relationship helped ease him a little bit. What Steve said was what he exactly thought. Even with their breaking up every week or so they were better than Steve and her first girlfriend (maybe even better than Steve and Nancy because well, Max and Lucas ‘both’ loved each other).

“I hated Billy.” Lucas said about a minute later getting serious again. “I think the reason he hated me the most was that he was a fucking racist-pardon my French.” He said the last part raising his hand. “But he didn’t deserve to die like that. He kinda sacrificed himself. Probably the only good thing he did.”

“I get you. Not the racist part.” Steve said shaking his head. “But the guy beat the shit out of me, terrorized the whole high school. I hated him too. Didn’t mean I wanted him to die like that.”

Lucas nodded at him with an understanding smile same as the one Steve had on too. Steve wondered why didn’t they talk about this before. Perhaps while he cared for his other ‘children’ he missed one.

“I think willingly or unwillingly Billy was the reason her step-father didn’t mess much with Max.” Lucas said, his voice dying off in the end.

Steve jumped into alarmed mode immediately. He didn’t know much about the Hargrove family but he knew people didn’t just born as assholes. (Like how Steve’s early carelessness and indifference came from his father’s.) He also heard from Dustin who heard from the boys the things El discovered about Billy’s childhood. 

“Did she say something to you?” Steve asked all serious and ready to fight the Hargrove man.

“No, no. I’m just guessing.” Lucas said shaking his head vastly.

That was a bit of a relief. Still he didn’t let go of his alarmed mode because he needed to keep a close eye on Max.

“Well, tell me if you hear or suspect anything.” Steve said in his most tough voice to show to Lucas that he meant it but Lucas most likely already knew how much Steve meant that.

Some more shouting came from the video store and there was a couple “Lucas!” sounds involved. Both Steve and Lucas moved a few steps towards the window and peered inside. Their conversation wasn’t over. They could have talked about so many more things. But Lucas caught Max’s eye in the window and she was calling her inside, Steve saw. Robin was looking at Steve like she was calling for help dealing with the little shits. So they abandoned the conversation and walked back inside. 

“Hey, Steve. Maybe it’s time you do what you say too. I mean talking to someone about your own nightmares.” Lucas said as he pulled open the door. 

The kid was right. He wasn’t getting any better. Even at the times he was getting good sleep he woke up with the sinking feeling that the world might end any second. But he didn’t know who to talk to. The kids were out of the question (and they had it far worse than him). Robin was in this because of him still she stood as the best option. I could figure that out later, Steve thought.

“Fine, Sinclair.” Steve said with the same groan Lucas used on him minutes ago.

They entered the chaos of the other teens laughing. See, Lucas is my equal, Steve thought once again. Perhaps he was getting better at talking to them.

* * *

_credits roll over the edge of horizons that I haven't discovered yet_

Two days after the kids completely raided the store Nancy stopped by. It was a slow day and Steve and Robin were bored out of their mind. They were playing some stupid games with the movies which involved Robin roasting Steve every minute on his complete lack of cinematic knowledge. 

“Dingus, really? You counted Star Wars as one of your favourites and you don’t even know the characters.” Robin said grinning and rolling her eyes.

“It’s been years since I saw it. I was like ten.” Steve said protesting while running a hand through his hair.

“Erica is ten and she is so much smarter than you and you are at almost twenty, by the way.” Robin said leaning her back on the counter.

“How is that relevant to our conversation about Star Wars?” Steve asked as he leaned on the opposite side, to the wall behind the counter.

“It’s not. I just love pointing out all the people that have higher IQ’s than you.” She said as her grin widened.

His little banters with Robin was what essentially got Steve through the day. If she wasn’t working there with him he would have quitted long ago (okay, not really because he needed whatever money he could get). It was nice, having a friend of his own age who generally understood the age based struggles he was having. And it wasn’t anybody, it was Robin. Even before their whole cracking a Russian code and being held captive by Russians adventure they were clicking.

That was when the door opened and the little bell rang. Steve who had been waiting for a customer whole day and Robin who had been waiting for one ever since her after-school shift started two hours ago snapped their heads to the door. 

“Hi guys.” Nancy said with a smile as she approached them.

“Hi.” Steve said with the same smile. He heard Robin mumble a little “Hi.” too as she turned around and stood next to Steve. 

“Are you looking for a movie?” Steve asked knowing that she wasn’t.

“Actually, I wanted to thank you about Mike. He is not walking around the house with a pout anymore.” She said keeping the same smile.

Steve didn’t do that for a 'thank you’. He did that to get the other shits off his back. Well, that was what he said. He did it because he was worried about Mike. Nevertheless, Nancy thanking him made him happy. Not because ‘Nancy’ thanked him but because apparently he did something good.

“You don’t need to-“ Steve started but he was distracted by Robin clearing her throat. “I’m glad he is better now. It’s even harder to deal with him with all his teenage angst.” He said with a chuckle in the end.

“Yeah, tell me about it.” Nancy replied echoing the same chuckle.

It looked like talking to his ex-girlfriend had become easier than three weeks ago. Maybe it was because they were talking about somebody they both cared about.

“Robin, here, helped a lot too.” Steve said pointing at his best friend, thinking Steve not giving her the credit was the reason she kept sending glares to their way.

“Uhmm, thanks.” Nancy said in a rather awkward smile. 

Robin didn’t answer instead smiled in the most insincere smile Steve probably saw. He gave her a scowl filled look and she kept glaring. Nancy was standing there weirdly as she clutched to her books. She looked like she wanted to say her goodbye and leave but she didn’t know how.

“How is university things-applications going?” Steve asked running a hand through his hair. 

At that moment talking to Nancy wasn’t what made Steve feel uneasy, it was the topic. He brought it up himself by asking but he was just curious. 

“I did some early applications.” Nancy answered practically beaming.

“That’s great. I’m happy for you.” Steve said with a big smile.

He truly was. They dated for a year after all. He knew how much she studied, how much she wanted to achieve her goals, how much she wanted to have a future outside of Hawkins. So of course he was happy. 

A minute passed as they stood there smiling at each other. Suddenly, it was like the awkwardness was lifted. Maybe it was the amount of time that had passed or that Steve was really over her or that they were both growing up. Whatever it was Steve didn’t complain because he didn’t want any hard feelings with anyone, not anymore. The same thing as Jonathan applied to Nancy : it was best not to have bad blood with the people you were bound to fight inter dimensional monsters with.

“I’ll see you around.” Nancy said finally as she turned around. 

“Hey Nancy…” Steve said catching her at the door just like he caught Jonathan midway. “…when you talk to Jonathan can you tell him I’m enjoying the records, a lot.” 

Him and Jonathan weren’t at the point where Steve could just call him up. Maybe they could be closer friends one day.

“I will.” She said with a tiny smile. Steve watched her disappear on to the street.

He turned his head only to come face-to-face with Robin who was back to glaring around. He was a %110 sure that he did nothing wrong or embarrassing the whole conversation so he was confused as to why he was receiving those looks.

“Alright, what did I do?” Then he realized he wasn’t the only one to receive the glares. “Do you hate Nancy?” 

“I don’t hate her.” Robin scoffed and pushed herself up to the counter to sit on it. “You might be a new Steve that doesn’t hold grudges but I am not. She broke your heart. She deserves my stares.”

Surprised would have been an understatement for Steve. Robin was distant even almost hostile to Nancy 'for him'.

“It’s been a year. I’m over her.” Steve said with a smile he was trying to hide.

“Well, I wasn’t your best friend then. So she is getting the proper treatment now.” She said with a smirk.

That was when Steve realized that he never actually had a best friend. He wasn’t a part of a proper friend group when he was a little kid, like the party was. His friendships in high school until he started dating Nancy was only based on the popularity of both sides. After Nancy, all he had was Dustin and the kids. When they weren’t a pain in his ass, they were amazing and ‘like' his best friends. Especially Dustin-who was the one to push him to get a job, who helped fill the applications-was. Still, he had this brotherly feeling with him. But with Robin he finally had someone at his age that he was able to joke around with, someone that looked after him too. 

“Oh, so you, a known cinephile, is best friends with a dingus who only heard the name Godard last month.” He said with his most sheepish smile trying to hide how emotional he was feeling over his recent realization about Robin being his only ever friend.

“It baffles me as much as you popeye.” She said rolling her eyes and jumping down. 

Robin walked up to the racks of movies in the back and started to sort them out. Steve looked at her laughing then started to wait for new customers as he watched the door.

Maybe his life now, even though he was working at a shitty store for a minimum wage, wasn’t that bad.

* * *

  
_oh I'm like a kid who just won't let it go, twisting and turning the colors in rows_

It had been six months since the mind flayer was defeated. Steve’s nightmares and worries were getting worse. His previous thought about time being a medicine to everything was showing itself to be false. He couldn’t stop thinking about how between the second and the third time they had to fight with whatever the Upside-Down threw at them there were about six months. (Maybe if they passed the seven or eight month threshold he could again feel like time healed everything.) It felt to him like the apocalypse was just around the corner. But his every single day was filled with so many mundane shit that he was wondering if all the things of the past three years had actually happened.

They did happen and he had a high school freshman in his living room to prove that. Dustin had decided that Steve was reading the comics Will gave him all wrong. So he had taken the matters into his own hands. Steve wasn’t going to complain. He did enjoy reading them; knowing more would only make him enjoy more. (That didn't make him a nerd though he would argue receiving an eye roll from everybody.)

“Steve, this is all wrong! How did you even understand anything?” Dustin asked throwing his head back as he sat on the floor with a bunch of comics spread in front of him. 

“Because I read them!” Steve said rolling his eyes.

“But you read them wrong! You messed up the adventures and everything!” He said almost shouting.

Steve didn’t reply just shook his head from side to side in an exhausted manner. 

“I can’t believe Will gave them to you like this.” Dustin said starting to create a stack which Steve guessed was put in the ‘right order’.

“Hey! Don’t blame him. I’m the one who ‘read them wrong’.” Steve said air-quoting the last part while imitating Dustin.

Dustin groaned and went back to his job as Steve watched him. Dustin was more grown up now, obviously, but he was still the same old Dustin. He had gotten a few inches taller since the summer, his voice was thicker; still, he cared too much about those comics. He was nothing like when Steve was 14.

“I’ll tell Will I taught you the specifics.” Dustin said with a smirk. “We have our weekly call tomorrow.” He added.

Steve’s thought about Dustin and Will possibly bonding over their shared feelings of being left out was correct. With a little nudge from Steve to both of the boys they had started to talk more, to have their own communication aside the group. It was not like they were trying to break away from the party but the two became closer because understood each other. 

“Is he okay?” Steve asked slowly while rubbing his forehead. 

“Yeah.” Dustin said still fixing up the comics. Then, he raised his head to look at Steve inquisitively. “Why?” he asked.

“Nothing. I’m just checking up.” Steve said with a shrug that was clearly a move to brush off the question.

“Steve…” Dustin said quietly to which Steve sighed deeply. “…the gate is closed. For real this time.” he finished still so quietly.

Even after months of trying Steve was still not able to reach the level of observance Dustin had. The kid had understood his fears and doubts with one sentence : that was something else. 

“I know that shit head.” Steve said trying to pull of his trademarked grin.

“Just checking.” Dustin said, making a joke out of it. Steve flipped him off. He was relieved that this part hadn’t stretched out too long.

Dustin was almost finished with stacking the comics in their chronological order. Will hadn’t given Steve all the comics, obviously and Dustin had brought some more with him to fill the gaps. It was the Saturday night and Steve couldn’t help but think about his Saturdays three years ago. He would be at a party, either at his own house or somebody else’s, drinking till he was at the verge of passing out. Now though, he hadn’t been drinking much since that Halloween party. Being around underaged children teens all the time didn’t quite give him an opportunity to drink alcohol. It was not like he was complaining about it. When he got drunk like that he was alone; now he had people. Also, with his current record of trauma not slipping into alcohol was probably a good thing. 

“STEVE!” Dustin practically yelled which pulled Steve away from his thoughts.

“What dingus?” Steve asked opening his hands in front of him.

“I was saying I was finished.” Dustin said with a scowl. He jumped up onto the corner of the big 'L shaped’ couch so he would be facing Steve. “And only Robin is allowed to call me a dingus.” 

“That’s fine. I still have shit head, dipshit, kid, kiddo…” Steve listed with a smirk as he counted on his fingers.

This time, Dustin flipped Steve off. A minute later the smile on Dustin’s face slowly faltered, Steve noticed. He started pulling his t-shirt and averting his eyes. Which only meant one thing : Dustin wanted to say something but he didn’t know how. 

“Spit it out kiddo.” Steve said, getting rather serious.

“Are you…” Dustin paused and looked up at Steve. “…talking to someone?” He asked gulping at the end.

“I’m talking to you right now.” Steve said trying to seem like he didn’t understand what Dustin was getting at. He did.

“You know what I mean.” Dustin said protesting with a groan.

“I am. Don’t worry about me.” Steve said followed with a sigh.

That wasn’t a lie. Maybe he wasn’t talking as much as he needed to but after his talk with Lucas he started to confide in Robin and Robin was confiding in Steve so it was all good. He certainly didn’t tell her every single one of his nightmares or fears but she knew the general gist. It was better than last year when he had no one to talk to. It was helping him get through and not obsess too much about how he felt like another battle with the Upside-Down could be happening any minute. He didn’t say that second part to Robin either.

“I don’t believe you.” Dustin said folding his arms.

Steve gave out a huge groan.

“I am talking to Robin, okay?” Steve said raising his eyebrows.

“You can talk to me too.” Dustin said a minute later quietly biting his lip.

Steve felt like the kid had been beating himself up for this for some time. Most likely wondering why Steve didn’t came to him to talk about his problems about their encounters with another dimension. Steve sighed and closed his eyes for a moment.

“I know that Henderson.” He said paused waiting for Dustin to fully look at him. “But you are not even 15. And you have been doing this for what-three years. You are not even as old as I was when I first swung the bat at that demogorgon.” 

“So?” Dustin said somewhat angrily. Steve knew he didn’t like to be treated like a kid.

“So I don’t care that you are in high school now I am not gonna drop my trauma on you. You have enough of that to last a life time.” Steve said running a hand through his hair. 

“I can take it you know.” Dustin said still a little angrily but in a way that was more defensive of himself.

Of course Steve knew that. God, those kids could have take everything. Throw them whatever and they would find a way around it and live to tell it. It could be anything from the real world or the another world. 

“I know.” Steve said firmly. “I know that-but I don’t want you to.” He added more softly. 

Robin and Steve had came to an agreement after everything. Sure, from Steve’s face it was obvious that he was beaten up and well, Dustin had recounted their time being high (including the times Steve called him ‘dad’) so it was obvious they were drugged with something like truth serum. That was going to be it, though. The two older members of the 'Scoops Troop' had decided not to give any more information to their younger members or to the others. It was, in a way, their little secret. He didn’t need Dustin knowing about those details and he was so glad the kid wasn’t there to see Steve get punched in the gut or be passed out on the floor. (It was definitely messier than last year with Billy).

“Fine.” Dustin said with a tiny scoff which meant that it wasn’t fine.

“Why did you ask that anyway?” Steve asked suddenly curious. It had been months after all (not that it was better that it had been months).

“The other day I was going to high five you but you flinched-

Fuck, Steve thought.

“Sorry Dustin, I didn’t mean-

“And we never talked about what the Russians did to you-

“It’s okay-

“And I have been reading up on post traumatic stress-

“Of course you have-

“And I was WORRIED!” Dustin finally snapped which shocked Steve to the core. When Mike snapped at him at that one time in the car Steve was expecting something like that. But with Dustin he wasn’t.

Steve let out a deep breath and scooted over to Dustin.

“I am not gonna lie because-

“Friends don’t lie.” Dustin completed.

“Right.” Steve said pointing at the boy. “I am not absolutely, totally fine. To be fair I have been like held captive by Russians and been fighting monsters. And I am still afraid. But I am okay. So you can stop worrying.” Steve said patting Dustin’s shoulder.

A smile spread through Dustin’s face. It looked like Dustin had believed him. Probably, the fact that he didn’t lie or gloss over the things he had been through helped. After everything Dustin wouldn’t have believed him if he said he was absolutely fine and the kid deserved the truth. 

“Yeah, I am still worrying.” Dustin said with a shrug.

“That makes the two of us.” Steve said with the same shrug.

Five seconds later they bursted out laughing. They must have laughed like that for a good three minutes before their laughs trailed off. Steve reached and ruffled Dustin’s hair. To this day, he still had no idea how did he managed to score himself an almost fifteen year old best friend/little brother. He also had no idea why Dustin chose to hang around him and why he came to him for advices all the time considering his advices almost never worked. Steve wondered all these but he didn’t question them too much as he was afraid to jinx it.

“I’m sorry Steve.” Dustin said a few minutes later and Steve felt like they were back to beginning.

“For annoying me?” Steve asked once more knowing there was a deeper meaning behind Dustin’s words. 

“For coming to you with that Russian transmission, for dragging you along, for leaving you behind, for making Robin and Erica learn about the Upside-Down, for-

“Hey, hey, hey…” Steve said softly (suddenly he was back to Byers house a little over than a year ago shouting over the crazy plan of the kids). “…you and Erica knowing the base helped, remember?”

“Yes, but you-

Steve knew how the sentence was going to end. Dustin was probably going to say something like ‘you got beaten up for no reason.’ Well, that simply wasn’t true for Steve. If it wasn’t for him and Robin being there and giving the kids an escape Dustin could have been the one getting beaten up. Even the thought of that made Steve’s stomach churn.

“And there was no way I was ever going to let you infiltrate a secret Russian base alone.” Steve said with the most serious voice that was supported with a strong eye contact and a small smile.

Dustin’s face slowly lighted up again and there was the hint of a small smile.

“If you die, I die. Right?” Steve said with his face now showing off a full smirk.

What Steve meant as a joke clearly had a different effect on the pre-teen beside him. Dustin’s smile grew bigger and his eyes started to shine from tears, Steve noticed. A second later Dustin was tackling him from the side with a big hug. Steve barely saved his arm from under Dustin’s grasp and threw it arm around Dustin to hug him back. He was never going to let anything happen to this kid, that was for sure.

“Not right. You don’t die ever.” Dustin said into Steve’s shirt in a muffled voice.

Shit. Dustin was about to make him cry. After months of dealing with deaths and traumas this was what was going to broke him down apparently. Not right now, though. Steve pulled himself together and cleared his throat.

“Okay.” He said trying to laugh (a flashback to the time Steve replied like this to Dustin’s identical sentence).

Dustin pulled away from the hug with a fake annoyed laugh. Steve prepared himself for a smack on the arm as retaliation; he was ready not to flinch. But Dustin didn’t do that. Instead he smiled and backed away a little. Steve really had zero idea about how did he manage to get Dustin-basically the most caring person on the earth.

“Since when do you know what infiltrate means anyway?” Dustin said with a smirk.

Steve grabbed a pillow from the couch and all hell broke loose.

* * *

_this is my rubik’s cube_

The nightmares were not going to go away, ever. 

Steve would always be looking over his shoulder waiting for the next threat.

He would have little heart attacks whenever he wasn’t able to reach any of the kids.

Everybody, including Steve, was going to miss Jim Hopper forever. 

No matter how hard he tried he wasn’t going to be able to make things better for Dustin, Max, El, Will, Mike, Lucas, Robin (Nancy, Jonathan). But he was never going to stop offering his shirt as a place to cry.

A new battle with whatever the Upside-Down was going to throw at them was on the way. Maybe it was only a few days away. Maybe that was Steve’s life now : fighting with monsters every eight months or so.

Still all of this mess and chaos had given him people that he could be somebody to. He wasn’t living for himself now.

If he could only make these people (His little “Monster Fighting Family?”) smile a little, he would take that and wouldn’t trade it for anything.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Any feedback is welcome!!! You can leave a comment or talk to me on my tumblr : @youleavebehindmemories
> 
> Pretty please leave a comment <3
> 
> A few notes:
> 
> -I know it might sound a bit out of character...I am sorry for that but in Stranger Things my headcanons mix with the show and that's how I write.
> 
> -Steve's favourite is "The Smiths" purely because I love the band.
> 
> -I love Steve and Dustin's friendship/brotherhood but I also would love to see him with the other kids too.
> 
> -I am all for Stoncy, Stonathan, Jancy basically every ship. But what I most would love to see, because the show would only give us this, is to see Nancy, Jonathan and Steve (+ Robin) to become friends.
> 
> -The title and the lyrics is from the song "Rubik's Cube" by Athlete


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